jordan mcdeere

via studio60-guide.com

if i could be anyone else, i'd be ...

jordan mcdeere, network exec, sarcasm extraordinaire. if only this show had come along sooner in my life, i might be running a network now. had i known my original plan of film school, law school, something entertainment related would have worked out, who knows.

jordan is smart, funny, charming and willing to go head to head with her male counterparts. she has an uncanny ability to piss someone off while still maintaining their respect. a beau once told me my super power was vicious sarcasm, i'm not sure i pull it off as classy as jordan does. she's managed to work her way up thru the ranks without using her feminine whiles to do so. she's secure enough not to put herself in petty competition with other women and her hair, how does she get that head band to stay put, mine keeps flying off.

her snark is witty, if occasionally ill placed. while fighting against adding a seedy reality show to the network, she continues to refer to the new female exec as the "vp of illiterate programming." while i agree, this is not the best way to begin a new working relationship. she apologizes when necessary and holds firm to her position when needed, perfect balance.

she's true to her word. she makes promises to creative to the discontent of admin, but always for the betterment of the network as a whole. she "looks like one of them, but you talk like one of us," a producer of the comedy show compliments her. she's able to do what is good for business all the while maintaining her integrity, it's a genius i hope to have.

gidget

via imdb.com

if i could be anyone else, i'd be ...

frances "gidget" lawrence, the sandra dee version. yes i do love sally field and feel she can do no wrong, i have only seen the movie version and fell so utterly in love, i refuse to watch any sequels or reboots. the only vhs copy video plaza in cary, nc had spent most of the summer of 1995 in my vcr. it may still be there, i should call mom and check.

gidget was my mirror as a teen. i was short, smaller "figured" than the rest of my friends and had little interest in dating. when i did like a boy, chances are i was on the loosing end of that crush. i did the typical girl things, read magazines and hung out at the mall, but it was mostly because that's where my friends were, i didn't enjoy it yet. to me, gidget was going thru everything i was, only she got to go thru it at the beach. note to self, find a way to live near the beach.

the movie opens with gidget being dragged by her friends to the beach for a man hunt, the idea of hunting men seems daunting and a dull all at once. the closest i've come was one spring break at disney when my 3 friends and i stalked some boys around the park. they stalked us too, we ended up pen pals, for like a minute. gidget ignores her friends and goes off on her own once they reach the beach, and that's when it happens. she meets that guy that's gonna wreck all the childhood left in her, but in a good way.

while swimming in the ocean, flippers and all, she gets tangled in some kelp and has to be rescued by a gorgeous surfer. it's entirely victorian of me to say that a woman wants to be rescued, i know, but let's be honest, who wouldn't enjoy being pulled from the ocean abyss by a good looking guy like james darren. ah, he became my ideal. a good looking guy from a hard working family who isn't afraid to relax at the beach for the summer before going back to hit the books. i must admit if a man started singing to me, right in my face, out of no where, i might be a tad weirded out. this hasn't happened so, who knows, might be awesome.

when it came time for college i drove east, stopped at the beach and never moved home again. i day dreamed of spending my free time riding the waves with a moon doggie of my own. sadly my dreams were dashed when i was pulled under by a strong rip tide, i quickly discovered i don't like being dragged under against my will. so now i spend my time just far enough in to get wet but far enough out to keep my head above water. i long to have gidgets' carefree, devil may care attitude again, my adult self could really use it. i have finally moved to gidgets' coast, who knows, maybe the tide will change.

rapunzel (tangled)

via adisney.go.com

if i could be anyone else, i'd be ...

rapunzel from tangled. i'm specifying the disney version for a few reasons.

1. the ending is way happier than the brothers grimm
2. she's a missing princess rather than a random local girl
3. she has a cute little chameleon sidekick
4. she uses a frying pan as a weapon (you know you've always wanted to)
5. she ends up with the hottest disney man, flynn rider a.k.a. eugene fitzherbert a.k.a. zachary levi <swoon>

she's a bit of a stretch for me appearance wise, all that hair, there's not a blowdryer strong enough. looking back at pictures of myself in high school, i can't believe my hair was so long. now if it's 1/4 inch too long i'm putting it in a bun because i just can't stand it. i'd probably feel differently if it glowed and had healing powers, goodbye cracked heels for life! she's a ridiculously talented artist, especially when you consider she's totally self taught. she can sing, a talent i only posses when the music is loud enough to drown me out. she gets to live in a tower.

i realize she is technically imprisoned in the tower, but i feel it's more a prison of her own making. her blind faith in all her mother tells her, mostly that people are evil, and lack of rebellion are what keep her locked away. the window is always open and she knows how to use her hair as a pulley so, get going girl!

after a bumbled breaking and entering attempt by the handsome flynn rider, rapunzel decides the time has come to go out into that scary world in search of something she's always wanted. at first the goal is simply to go see the floating lights that occur each year on her birthday, but along the way it becomes a journey to find her self and a place in the world.

i think what i admire most is her openness to new experiences, once she finally commits to leaving the tower of course. growing up in the south, a land of many "traditions," it is hard sometimes to determine what is a genuine tradition and what is simply the way things have always been done and could do with some changing. the current political climate is so polarized,  i want to scream "hey y'all, watch this." i want to lock every american in a cinema and force them to watch tangled.

it's a story about a sheltered girl who had never met anyone outside her own home, she ventured out on her own, met new people, gave them a chance, learned new things about herself and she ended up with a decidedly better life than the one she had beofre. that is, after all, the american dream; making a life for yourself that is better than what your parents had.

so grab your frying pan and favorite color-changing lizard, step out into that big, colorful world and try something new. go all rapunzel on the world!

holly golightly

via things-we-heart.blogspot.com

if i could be anyone else, i'd be ...

holly golightly. when i was 14 i saw breakfast at tiffany's for the first time. all i wanted to do was move to new york. why? let's look at the life of ms. holly golightly:

1. lives in a beautiful brownstone in manhattan
2. strolls 5th avenue at dawn in an evening gown while enjoying coffee and pastry, thinks nothing of this
3. can be prison visit ready in 10 min (i can't get wal-mart ready in 10 min)
4. that hair, those bangs
5. has raucous parties attended by beautiful people and the cops never catch her
6. doesn't have to work (altho she does "work")

what was this $50 for the powder room? i would only get $10 to go to the food court and that came from my parents, not my dates. it wasn't until years later, when i had read the book, i realized why she got $50 and exactly what kind of pictures she and mag were posing for. this did not fit with the glamorous life i had imagined, so i've suppressed the written word deep in my subconscious.

i have come to realize it wasn't the lifestyle that attracted me to holly, but her carefree attitude toward life. a little naive to think the cops put a "sweet old man like sally tomato" behind bars for having a "little trouble with his taxes," maybe, but her heart was in the right place and she never failed to visit the dear man. given the recent state of the economy, he did offer some sound financial advice. you could not have asked for a more devoted friend than holly golightly.

she had a light inside her that could only be dimmed by the death of her beloved brother. tragic as it was, she picked herself up and carried on. there was a bit of scarlet in her, there should be a bit of that in all of us. only when faced with prison and the loss of a fiance she never really had, does she finally lose it. i can't help but cry every time she pulls the cab over ... in the rain ... forces the cat out ... in the rain. even i don't like being forced to be in the rain, that's why i don't work on set. at that moment i always promise my mallory that i will never do that to her, knowing full well if i did she would chase down the cab and kill us all. like all women, holly must make all the wrong decisions before she can finally make the right one, giving into paul and cat.

selfish and selfless, stylish and sassy, holly was all i wanted to be as a teen. i suppose also as an adult i still strive for that. living on the west coast, i've done the best i can. my cat is my roommate and a total party girl. i keep a bottle of champagne on hand, just in case. i can only hope i'm closer to the end of all my wrong decisions. i take comfort knowing that whenever one of my wrong decisions pops up, i can walk the back lot at work, where holly made her last.

julia sugarbaker

via designingwomenonline.com

if i could be anyone else, i'd be ...

julia sugarbaker a.k.a. the terminator. she was everything i wanted to be; beautiful, educated, enterprising, classy and sassy. just once in life i want to so wittily tell off an offender in a manner that would make even aaron sorkin say, "well done." alas, i'm afraid i don't think that quickly, get back to you tomorrow?

being raised by a single mother in the south, julia was my second role model. a single working woman who still found time for her away at college son, her friends and her civic duties. (yes i realize she was widowed and my mom divorced, we will get to mary jo on another day) she was proud of her roots yet unafraid of the changing culture of the u.s. in the mid 80's.

she was a church going liberal in the south at a time when women were voted against as ministers, gays were viciously persecuted, the pledge of allegiance was said in school and the war between the sexes raged. she managed to stand her ground making passionate, educated arguments and proved women could and should have a voice.

did she ever have a voice. i lived for the moments she'd tell off some unjust, rude or silly behaving person in such a manner they were left speachless. in my mind, they never spoke again. she was a loyal sister and friend, taking up for everyone that mattered to her even when the subject was one she didn't totally support. one of my favorite "for the record" was unleashed on the current a caddy miss georgia world in defense of julia's sister suzanne, miss georgia world 1976.

"... and that, marjorie, just so you will know, and your children will someday know, is the night the lights went out in georgia!"

so on behalf of women everywhere, i want to thank you, julia sugarbaker. you are our hero heroine.